In our last post I mentioned that there is a difference in being alone and being isolated. There is, again, great value in being alone. This allows God the open door, a less cluttered mind, to work and speak in us as He wishes. Isolation though, is disastrous to the believer.
Let’s start with this simple fact: You are never alone.
God determined that it is not good for man to be alone. He made an immediate provision for that— Woman. And coming from a man’s perspective— thank you Jesus! In Genesis 2.18 we read— “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” God designed man with a need for a companion, a helper, an equal. He was incomplete without someone to complete him. This points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. The Apostle Paul explained in 1 Corinthians 11.9— “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency. Ouch guys, but reality. Paul further clarified what happened in the garden in 1 Timothy 2.14— “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” This verse points out their mutual need for each other. In a critical moment a separation of minds and hearts plunged the human race into sin and a separation with God eternally. It is NOT good for man to be alone.
Genesis 2.18 then speaks towards the one thing plaguing so many humans today. Believers and unbelievers alike suffer from— loneliness. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. A person can be alone without being lonely, and someone can be lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is, therefore: a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feelings of separation from other people. The sense of isolation is very deeply felt by those who are lonely. The Hebrew word translated “desolate” or “lonely” in the Old Testament means— ‘one alone, only; one who is solitary, forsaken.’ There is no deeper sadness that ever comes over the mind than the idea that we are alone in the world, that we do not have a friend, that no one cares for us, that no one is concerned about anything that might happen to us. You see, this is more than being alone. This is loneliness or also known as isolation. The devil seeks to isolate humans. Do you not see this in the news every single day? Do you not feel the pull within you every single day? This is the god of this world speaking lies to you, seeking to bully you into isolation and silence.
The cure… God is here! Hebrews 13.5 says— “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” He is literally saying— ‘trust me, I’ve got this, I haven’t ever left, and wont now.’ Which is why the very next verse says— “So that we may boldly say, The Lord [is] my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” (Hebrews 13.6). Even if our mom and dad abandon us, God wont. Just as David exclaimed in Psalm 27.10— “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.” David said that he had never seen God’s children forsaken. But think of this in the context of that we are talking about: Psalm 37.25, 28—“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread…For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.” God promises to never cast us off as David said in Psalm 94.14— “For the Lord will not cast off his people, neither will he forsake his inheritance.” Even in persecution and distress we are not alone. Paul said so in 2 Corinthians 4.9— “Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;” Claim these promises for yourself believer… because they are for you. God is here!
Did you know that the word “lonely” is never used in the New Testament to describe believers. Why? Because we now have Jesus permanently with usthrough His Spirit in us. Whatever the cause of loneliness, for the Christian the cure is always the same— the comforting presence of Christ. He is the friend who “…sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18.24). He “lays down his life for his friends” (John 15.13-15). He has promised to be with us until the end of the world (Matthew 28.20).
Just as a person can ‘feel’ alone in a crowded room, there are always some, who no matter what promises or prayers, still ‘feel’ lonely. Biblically, there are only two possible answers, and they work hand-in-hand: (1) They have been groomed to trust their ‘feelings’ more than anything else; (2) They still have not grown their relationship with Christ personally. This person will pray, give, memorize verses, quote, get counsel, attend church faithfully… but not grow. Spiritual growth is not a buffet. There is only one option— Building a friendship with Christ. How does one grow that relationship so that they can trust God’s presence and promises more than feelings?
No one ever knew the promises more and yet felt loneliness more keenly than David, and yet was called a man after God’s own heart. In a series of earnest, heartfelt appeals to God, David cried out in his loneliness and despair. His own son rose up against him. In so doing, the men of Israel went after him, forcing him to flee from the city, leaving his house and family. He was lonely and afflicted: “Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted” (Psalm 25.16). His only recourse was to turn to God and plead for mercy and God’s intervention because his only hope was in God: “Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee” (Psalm 25.21). Even Peter, who did abandon Christ, said to— “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5.7). David, who was abandoned said in Psalms 55.22— “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Paul, who was forsaken by everyone said in Hebrews 4.16— “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
In these we see the answer to the spiritual growth process: Talking to God… all the time! He speaks through His Spirit still, but in the context of scripture. We have His promises already sufficiently recorded for our use and edifying. Why do we not just simply use them?
Simple… all relationships take intentional effort on the part of both parties to work. I have counseled many believers who say things like— ‘I’m praying but He feels so far away.’
- Fact 1— He is in you, with you, and cannot leave you.
- Fact 2— He wants a friendship with you desperately and unconditionally. He died to make it that way.
- Fact 3— You are trusting your feelings in the moment more than Fact 1 and 2.
- Fact 4— He isn’t as interested in making you ‘feel’ better as much as He is a deep, intimate, friendship with you.
Have you ever had someone ignore you and by-pass you again and again; then when they need something they are your best friend? They can even be somewhat demanding about it? It is a terrible thing to use another person like that. But, isn’t that what we do to Jesus? It cannot be a one-sided, when we feel like it, when we are in crisis, kind-of friendship. That isn’t a friend at all! Our fellowship is smashed and we desperately need to restore this friendship.
My best friend! That is how it should be. You want to conquer loneliness and the despair that associates itself with? Take the necessary time to grow your relationship more with Christ. Is it merely at an acquaintance level? Seek a deep and more meaningful friendship with Him today.
Where do I start? God’s here— Talk to Him.
One thought on “You Yourself And More You”
That there is good advice. Thanks