Diffuse

Humanity has a long history of wars and skirmishes. It happens not only in the Middle East, but also on the web. The cold war, the war on terror, and the war on drugs which has reached into our own living rooms, are all from the same source. Skirmishes sneak into our homes as well, don’t they? We see it between husbands and wives, kids and parents, and between siblings. There is strife and conflict in every room of some homes. The war includes our own social media accounts now. The things people would never say in public, they feel no problem saying it online. In all neighborhoods, schools, and parks there are altercations. In fact, we even have police in our schools. At work, there is conflict between employees, and between employees and their employer. When will it ever end? To make that answer plain— it will end in the end. 

We shouldn’t be surprised by conflict. It’s everywhere and has been in our DNA since Adam and Eve’s son Cain, killed his brother Abel. Even before that, we see when all conflict began— with sin! Adam and Even disobeyed God and created an eternal conflict between God and man.

James chapter 4 asks a rhetorical question: Where does all war and conflict among us come from? Let’s look at a universal principle from an Old Testament passage found in Proverbs 13.10a— “Only by pride cometh contention…” James gives help on how to diffuse conflict inner text today: James 4.1-6.

We are at war with each other.

1a— “From whence come wars and fightings among you…” The word “wars” speaks of the conflict in general. Some people always have a problem with others. They are unhappy, complaining and fighty, all the time. The word “fights” speaks of specific altercations, maybe even unresolved conflict. “among you” indicates its problems between people in the church. Quite frankly, discord in church is against God’s design (John 13.34-35).

We are at war with ourselves. 

1b-3— “…come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” Lust is a passionate desire for worldy pleasures. Murder (kill) is the ultimate. One who is driven by their uncontrolled desires, will fight to the death to fulfill them. The real problem with conflict with ourselves is, we cannot guarantee we get what we want. In all of us there is a 3 year old that didn’t get his or her way. We stomp a fit, make demands of others, pout, whine, and work ourselves into a tizzy… just like a spoiled child. All we really have to do is ask— “because ye ask not”. Why do we continue to carryon like that, attempting to have it our way, and working to insure our plans will work out for us? Because we asked for ourselves and not God’s will— “ask amiss”. We only ask to fulfill our lust— “consume it”. Think about it… how do you normally pray? Is it a prayer of surrender, or 50/50 prayer? Is it 50% what you want and 50% what God wants? Consider Matthew 6.10 where Jesus’ desire was what God wanted— “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” Coming full circle now— why are we at war with ourselves; what is the root problem to all conflict? Fighting God. Therefore we are…

At war with God.

4-5— “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” The terms “adulterers and adulteresses” are metaphorical. They weren’t all-out cheating on their spouses; rather they were all cheating on God. James is exposing believers who outwardly associate with the church but inwardly hold a deep affection for the world. It goes a little deeper than that, it’s a relationship choice. Note the word: “friendship”. It means a strong emotional attachment. Here James says you make a choice— friend (emotionally attached) to God and an enemy with the World— or —friend (emotionally attached) with the World and the enemy of God. Every day you and I make that choice. The real war is not others, not things, not circumstances… it’s between me and God.

How to fix it

6— “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” God gives grace. When God gives you what you don’t deserve and could not earn or do on your own— that’s grace. In this case, having the power to endure and overcome life’s conflict. He gives more grace. When it gets tough, His grace is more powerful than our sin, our flesh, and others. Paul said it best in Romans 5.20b— “But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound”. God rescues us from our tendencies toward sin, through His grace! Peter agreed in 1 Peter 5.5— “…Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”

He resist the proud. He has always, and will always, resist the advancement of prideful people. I do not want to be that. I want to be a disciple… a willing participant in His grace, His way. The only hope we have is grace, and grace comes to the humble. Proud people are destined to battle it out. God continually pours out abundant, unmatched grace, to those who humble themselves.

The thing about grace is: it only works when you quit. Grace doesn’t work if you could do it or keep trying to do it yourself. The choice is a choice of surrender. Surrendering of my will, myself, and my desires.

Are you in need of His grace? Want to stop the fighting and stress? Humble yourself.