In 1900, the Daughters of the American Revolution elected social reformer Jane Addams to honorary membership. But Addams’s antiwar stance during World War I and her insistence that even subversives had a right to trial by due process caused them to expel her. She commented that she had thought her election to the DAR was for life, but now knew it was for ‘good behavior’. Conditional acceptance can be devastating. Fortunately for us, our Father in Heaven does not accept us based on merit, does He? Humans are the ones who pull that kind of stuff. We are nice when it goes our way, and not so nice when it doesn’t. At times, we fake it in front of the person or circumstance we have a limited acceptance towards. What about when that limited or conditional acceptance is toward our own selves?
Accepting oneself is essential to following God fully. Without it, we drift into even worse self-focused tendencies. It sounds weird to talk about self acceptance as a thwart to too much self, but it’s true. Lets’ begin with what you have to accept that you cannot control…
You were not randomly assigned a body at birth. You are not your mom. You are not your dad. You are uniquely and perfectly built, by God, personally. You may have traits and tendencies from your families but you are your own free will agent; specially built by God, personally.
There are three things we have to accept about ourself right from the start:
- Where you come from
- Where you’re at
- Where you’re headed.
We have difficulty truly accepting others, on these same basis’. If we cannot reconcile these questions ourselves, it can and does bleed into how we accept others. Let’s go back to where it all started with the first human in Genesis 2.7. Adam was “formed” rather than “made” like the rest of creation. The word is: yaw-tsar’— as a potter does the clay. There are elements used to make a previously unknown, now uniquely made, thing. Same was with Eve as well. She was from a rib (known thing) to another previously unknown, now uniquely made, thing. Look closer in the chapter in verses 1.26-28, here in chapter 1 the words “made” and “said” are used. But in this one case with man, the word “created” is used. In HIs “own” image and in His “own” likeness, no less. In Genesis 2.15-18 we find them In the garden; in Genesis 2.20-25 we find woman formed from man; then in Genesis 3.1-7, and here is where everything changes!
Please believe me when I say: Things aren’t as they seem to you. Everything changed because of the fall of man. In Genesis 3.7-8 we see physical (verse 7) and relational (verse 8) insecurities begin. They began here and have never ended. We are all plagued with it. It effects and affects every area of our life today. In this text, they weren’t even driven from God’s presence yet. That’s when things really went sideways. This is the very reason the New Testament commands that we need more time with Him, not less; and more time with each other, not less. The Designer has specific plans for what He has created. It has been botched by sin, but He is bigger than the failure and fall of man. Do you believe He is bigger than your insecurities and hangups?
Sin entered in, but we have a Redeemer. He has a plan to help you through this sin-filled, tarnished, life. It is NOT what you think though. It is counter-intuitive, but effective. Let’s move to the book of Psalms and I’ll begin to explain.
In Psalm 139.14 we read: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” The word “fearfully” are things that inspire or ensue fear or reverence. The word “wonderfully” is distinct though and means: separate or different than the rest of a thing (creation in this case). God has done a wonderful work in forming you; you are uniquely made. David is saying, if we realized what is actually going on… “when I stop to think…” one would not even want to move. With fear we see how amazing God really is. If you get a chance, go back through the entire Psalm, to get a better picture of what David is saying. I would also suggest looking at: Job 10.8-12; Psalm 119.73; Ecclesiastes 11.4-5. In all of these, we know that you are NOT an accident, happenstance, an evolved creature, just a clump of tissue that shows similarities to your birth parents. You ARE: designed just the way you are. God has used the elements of your birth parents, and perfectly designed you just like He wants you. You ARE: still being worked on and nothing is a mistake.
Fact: There are some unchangeable things in your life. These are physical or family features over which you have no control. They were chosen for me by God and must accept them. Self acceptance boils down to accepting the things I cannot change in God’s design. They are to be accepted for my ultimate benefit and to God’s purpose (which I may never fully understand).
10 unchangeables are: My Parents; My Time In History; My Racial Background ; My National Heritage ; My Gender; My Birth Order; My Siblings; My Physical Features; My Mental Abilities; My Aging and Death. Isn’t it interesting these very things are being challenged on every single level today in media, school, society as a whole, even some (so called) churches.
Aren’t you glad we have a Redeemer? Look for a second at the same list in the new light of salvation:
- My Parents — I have a Daddy in Heaven now. (Romans 8.15)
- My Time In History — We serve the generation we’re in, like David. (Acts 13.36)
- My Racial Background — God has made us one race and one blood in Jesus. (Acts 17.26)
- My National Heritage — We are pilgrims now and have a home to look forward to. (Hebrews 11)
- My Gender— There is a promise with the curse of the fall. (Genesis 3.15-20) (Ephesians 5)
- My Birth Order — Always a new born babe into the Kingdom and maturing through (Philippians 4)
- My Siblings — We have a new family. (Luke 8.21)
- My Physical Features — I’ll have a brand new body one day. (1 Corinthians 15.51-52)
- My Mental Abilities — We have a teacher now. (John 16-17) If we don’t wrestle with it. (2 Peter 3.16)
- My Aging and Death — It’s a stepping off point now to a greater eternity. (Hebrews 9.27)
People have questions. I have questions still. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is futile to attempt changing things about myself or someone else that cannot be changed. Accept it. Accept them. Accept yourself. The scripture is here to explain how we can live a truly victorious life. If we do not accept what it asserts, then what benefit is it? Acceptance then may come down to… accepting what the scripture says about me. It is what it is.
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